College Prep by Grade Level: A Parent's Guide

TL;DR: It's August, which means every parent reading this has a kid moving into a new grade. Here's what actually matters at each stage, from elementary school through senior year, so nothing gets missed and nothing gets rushed.

I've seen far too often a kid who is adamant about not wanting to go to college, suddenly change their mind senior year, and often, it's too late to get right into a 4-year college or university. Doesn't mean the dream is not available for them, but often it means they have to go a different route through a community college or state college, which is a perfectly fine option, just not the one they may want. The opposite often works out better, if a kid has done everything they've needed and prepared to apply to college, but then changes their mind senior year, often the world is their oyster as they say. They can go the college route, they could go to a trade school, they could decide to go straight into working 40+ hours a week.

My belief is that even if the goal is not college, we should be raising our kids to think critically, love learning, and continuing improving and pushing themselves year over year, because aren't those principles the same thing that allows adults to grow in their professional life, in their personal life?

All that being said, as a former HS teacher who taught for 15 years, taught many school districts all over the country about preparing for college, and have successfully gotten 2 of my 3 children through college debt free, here's what I would recommend you have your kids focus on based on where they are currently at in their school journey.

Elementary School

Read to them, read with them, have them read on their own, whatever gets a love of reading going. That habit matters more long term than almost anything else on this list. Talk about math in a way that keeps it positive, they are listening to you more than you think, even if math is taught completely differently than it was when you were in school. Different does not mean worse, and even if you hated math growing up, that does not mean the same has to happen for them. Set the foundation now that learning, even the hard parts, can be enjoyable. And let them fail. The consequences are small right now, so this is the best possible window for them to learn that trying and failing is something to be proud of, not something to avoid.

5th Grade

Let them enjoy this last year of elementary school, being the oldest kids in the building is its own kind of fun, let them have it. Start easing them into real responsibility too, homework, grades, all of it, and let them stumble a little while the stakes are still low. I am not someone who believes standardized tests capture who a kid actually is, but if scores in your district open the door to certain programs in middle school, pay attention now so you are not caught off guard later.

6th/7th Grade

If they are taking any classes that carry high school credit, the grades follow them into high school, so this is not a year to get careless. Let them try a little bit of everything, clubs, sports, whatever is on offer, so you both start to learn what actually holds their attention. This is also the year to hand them real accountability for homework and chores, they are not too young for it. And keep reinforcing that learning does not have to feel like a chore.

8th Grade

Same rule applies here, any class carrying high school credit needs real attention to the grade. Start noticing what they gravitate toward and whether the high school they are headed to offers something similar, a club, a team, a program, so the jump feels like a continuation instead of a cold start. Let them enjoy being the oldest in middle school, they earned it. And keep reminding them learning can be fun.

Freshman Year

Get them involved in something at the high school level, and encourage depth over breadth, sports, theater, band, chorus, clubs, whatever it is, one real commitment beats five shallow ones. Look closely at their course load and make sure this year is an even mix of challenging and manageable, freshman year is for learning to navigate high school, not for burning out by October. Make sure they have the actual tools to succeed, homework done first, how to ask for help, how to balance school with friends and hobbies and everything else competing for their time. And if two years of a foreign language is required, either for graduation or for the colleges they might eventually want, get it started now or at least have a plan. It is far easier to knock out early than to scramble for later.

Sophomore Year

This is a good year to actually sit down and reflect together. Did freshman year feel like real effort, or did they coast through it? What got hard, and what would they change this year? Look at what they were involved in last year and whether something new should be added, keep in mind an activities list built senior year is not about being in everything, it is about showing depth in the handful of things that actually mattered to them. This is also a good year to think honestly about the five people they spend the most time with. I love the saying "you are your five closest friends," it is worth asking whether those friendships are pulling them up or down. And take a look at what math class they are in this year, it tells you a lot about where that path is heading.

Junior Year

Time to sign up for the SAT or ACT if they have not already. If it is their first time taking either, have them take both and see which one they respond to better, then stick with that one and keep retaking it until the score reflects what they are capable of. Testing policy keeps shifting, more schools are moving back to requiring scores after a stretch of test-optional years, so prepare as though it will be required even if it ends up optional for a particular school. This is also the year to chase real leadership opportunities, not just more activities, but ones that actually mean something to them. Start the college list, and while you are building it, look at admissions requirements and which test scores unlock automatic merit scholarships at different schools. And keep the grades up, junior year is the last full year of grades that get reported when they apply next year.

Senior Year

Get applications started and actually submitted, and set an early personal goal so the pressure does not all build up in the fall. Keep grades up and do not let anything drop below a C, once a college accepts you, they audit your final transcript, and a D or an F can get an offer rescinded. Do not drop or swap any AP, IB, or dual enrollment classes you told a college you were taking without contacting that college first, it can affect an offer more than people realize. Keep applying to scholarships, and you can reuse essays already refined for college applications as a starting point, just make sure you are actually answering the prompt in front of you. And one more thing, be careful what gets posted on social media. It does not go away.

None of This Is Complicated

It just means actually focusing on the right thing at the stage your kid is in right now, instead of waiting until junior or senior year and trying to make up for lost time all at once.

If your kid is still years out from applications, join my weekly newsletter and I will keep sending you what matters, one stage at a time, so you are never scrambling to catch up.

If you are already in the thick of high school and want to see everything, from the $9 Common App guide to 1:1 essay review, reach out and I will send you the full list.

You've got this. And so does your kid.